I've been quiet. not because of lack of inspiration, on the contrary, I'm so excited I sometimes can't sleep. So he big news.... I got a new job. Three years ago I would have sold my firstborn for one. But the Guy Upstairs had a different road for me, one that included healing, forgiving and learning.
I certainly wasn't looking for it, but the opportunity found me. I won't say much about what exactly I'm going to do, but involves the words non-profit, health awareness and education. It's another level.
I see as the reward for taking charge of my own healing, destiny and learning not to compromise my limits and respecting myself.My heart is overjoyed with gratitude...
I have an amazing dating adviser, one that I share with Geo. She is wise, practical, smart and yesterday she celebrated her 18th birthday. Of course, we are talking about my sister, Rebeca.
I still remember that first time I hold her. I was wearing a read and fuchsia print dress from Esprit, big glasses and was missing some fake acrylic nails. She was a gorgeous baby and had the biggest blue eyes just like her mom. She brought so much joy to Tania and me ( she was our real life baby doll!) and was the funniest toddler ever. I remember how much she talked on the phone (My mom can vouch for me).
Over the years, her school track record have been very impressive. She barely has taken a final exam. She is a great sister to Fabiana and she is sweet with everybody she meets always offering a kiss and hugs to strangers.
Every time I meet her at the beach with Geo, we always agree on her practical wisdom and I secretly wish for some of her takes on life. She is a hard worker and like her mom, a smart dresser. She still irritates me trying to figure out why I get upset about her touching my neck, but I forgive her. She is my dad's daughter, the one that looks the most to him.
And now she's 18. She can have a beer, vote (a right I hope she will use) and in a couple of months she will go to college. My real life baby doll has grown. Yet, I am ecstatic to report that she has a brilliant future ahead of her.
My sweetest Rebeca, hope you had a wonderful b-day. I only wish that God will reward your heart's dreams as you have rewarded us with your love. I am proud of you and it is an honor to be your sister (even when our roles sometimes are reversed). I'm here for you and not going anywhere. You own my heart, that is how much I love you.
2009 was a year I would love to forget, but I’m grateful it happened. I have faced my demons, issues that haunted me for years. I recently discovered the blessing of having a support group from friends, family and strangers. I have understood that God has an amazing plan for me and I’m looking forward to it. I have a job that sometimes doesn’t let me sleep but I’m happy to be tired and great colleagues who have the patience to deal with some serious PMS-ing. If I hurt in some way: I’m sorry. I rediscovered my capacity of doing something, trusting my instincts and later having satisfaction and the validation of the people who matter.
I have been faced with friendship betrayal, yet I’ve been blessed with so much more, good souls around the globe who really want the best for me. I reconnected with old friends (Carla B) and strengthened new ones (Maricelle, Mercybelle, Stephanie R). I continue to give thanks to God for: Aileen, Anushka, Arlene, Aimet, Alba (you rock!),Annabelle, Ariel, Beatriz Luna, Beatriz Tamayo, Beba, Cagiu, Carla M. Charlisse, Cheska, Chetzil and Hector, Cristinita, Cynthia Carrion (bless you, my friend, in Germany), Cynthia Rodriguez,Dari, Darlene, David L, Dia, Edmarie and Ernie, Edwin, my kid bro Efrain, Elda, Erika Peña, Erika and Axel, Eunice, Ingrid ( you and I go waaaaay back, love you), Ivanette, Denise, Lara, Jaen and Melvin, Javi Gazu, Jay Z,Jeannie( love you to pieces), Jessica, Joel, Jorge, Julie, Kariliz ( love you and your family), Lara, Le Roy,Lorna, Maitecita, Manolo, Manolito, Mariel, Marnie, Michelle and Norein, Mitin, Morayma, Nanma, Omar, Oscar, Rafa, Paquirri, Chupi, Wilo, Raquel, Sheila, Tony, Valeria, and W*. Yep, I’m lucky. Also I have a new friend, let’s call her G. Yes, it was our fate to meet.
On the family front, I’m happy to report that Mia is thriving and Carmela continues to mature. Rebeca and Fabi are great. I have my grandparents in good health and so is my Titi Cuqui, who laughs at my jokes. Tony and Yasmine, thanks for your support. Dad- I’m rooting for you and I love you. Jennifer is blissful in her marriage and in her new role as mom (although this thing about having her far away is hard for me). Jenni, just one thing: thanks, you have the biggest heart. Georgette, my partner in everything good, bad, ugly and the very ugly has shown an enormous capacity of strength, even when she doesn’t realize it. I love you, tots. We have an amazing spring ahead of us (wink,wink). Have I told you I have the best brother in law? Georgie, I heart you. Tania continues to amaze me with her capacity to be great at everything: hard worker in her job and being the best mom and wife ever while being my voice of reason, which is a tough job by itself. Typical Tania. Mom is healthy and continues to be my example of true love and courage while keeping her smile, her sweetness and most important her faith. You are my angel in my world; no words can thank you enough. On the love front I am happy to report that I’m dating someone. I didn’t give credit to this person in the past but recently I have discovered that what we have together is truly amazing. Wehave a long way ahead of us. That person is me**:
I take this year as THE toughest one EVER, but I met myself, and slowly I have been falling in love with me. I am learning to forgive and care for myself; these are the lessons that I’m taking to the new decade. I thank the Lord for making me His princess. A true honor.
So what’s left to say? My wishes to you of blessings, health, love and peace. Happy 2010… God bless
(*Disclaimer- if I missed you sorry, I only checked my cell contacts but I still love you, for reals)
(** “The most important relationship is with yourself”-Diane von Furstenberg)
I just finished reading this amazing article about a single gal who decided to chaste for a year. Not that I'm doing that, but I totally understand were she is coming from. She says "Sex, and its pursuit, seems to have become such a blood sport, its rules so confusing and its standards so exacting, that it is hard not to wonder occasionally whether it's worth it". Just feels nice to feel totally validated about the positions I have taken towards dating.Looking back at my 20's I realized that maybe ... I'm maturing ( yikes!)Click here for the article
You see that picture, we had a real blast from the part on Tuesday. After months of trying to get together, Geo and I get to spend time with the lovely Aileen, the original party queen from PR. You see, we are all connected. K was friends with Aileen, Aileen was friends with Geo and it was 10 years ago that it all became together. Aileen has work her whole professional life in nightlife and events. If somebody can be more resourceful than me, it's her ( you should see her save the date wedding postcard-so cute!).
So Tuesday we became full circle. Aileen invited us for a very nice cocktail party ( thank you new Hotel San Juan GM ; it was lovely) and we pick up exactly where we left off.I realized how matured we have become ( with serious immaturity bouts-I speak for myself) and then BANG!!! serious nostalgia kicked in.Behind where the days we went out EVERY single night, the countless nights when we spend in Babylon's VIP ( now brava) were we made it our permanent residence, finishing off with after hours in her apartment. I have to say thank God we stopped that lifestyle, I would have never looked this age at that rhythm.
Our friendship is a great example that true friendship holds together over time. She is getting married over the summer with a wonderful Croatian ( I don't know him, but Aileen has never under deliver) and I'm so happy they are making PR their permanent residence ( for now).
We promised not keep so much distance, promise I intend to keep
I posted this on facebook, so why not here. Enjoy!
I sleep with my first pillow. Yes, it’s 31 years old. It’s gross and have rescued it twice from the trash ( mom tried to convince me that the pillow was the source of my nonexistent teenage acne-now, I think is the source of my anti aging regime)
I had mono at 3 years old. I French kissed everyone in pre-pre kinder and spread it to the whole class and Tania, my younger sister
I can’t sing save my life, I can’t draw and after running a quarter mile I’m breathless. Now give me high heels (the taller the better), champagne plus a good DJ and I will give you the endurance performance of a lifetime.
I have my mom’s body and my dad’s features. People say I look like my Mom and some people say my Dad. But what people don’t know is that my parents look alike. Freaky. I’m the only one of my three sisters that has brown eyes (although Tania, bless her heart, swears they are still beautiful).
My alter ego is a 16 inch waist burlesque stripper and performs in Forty Deuce with Dita Von Teese ( google her she is amazing)
My guilty pleasure is napping. Since I was little, Morpheus was on my side, rocking my cradle
I have the worst case of organizing procrastination. I love organized stuff. To me, Martha Steward is a semi good and but I wish I had the energy to organize ( Tania, my sister, can vouch for that-she divided our shared room many times with masking tape)
Contrary to popular belief, I don’t have a big J-lo style butt. I have HUGE hips which is totally different.
I had always wanted to have a scuba license, play a high level competitive tennis (I know) and speak French fluently. Somehow, procrastinating, socializing and nightlife keep getting in the way.
I’m an information junkie. News and useless info are my favorite vice (but it helps on trivia games and small talk-did you know that people photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide?; did you know that Prince Charles and Prince William never travel on the same airplane in case there is a crash?; did you know that the Pentagon in Arlington Virginia has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary.? When it was built in the 1940s the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites)
I loathe spelling errors, not typos. I tend to judge people I have never met by email spelling horrors.
My friends use me as a memory storekeeper to remember who they dated and in which year
When my parents divorced they took my sister and me to a psychiatrist. His findings said that we were 10 years ahead on maturity level than the average kid. For some reason I find this totally untrue due to my choices in men.
I find appetizers more fun and happy than entrees. But I eat like a trucker so normally I eat both plus bread and dessert.
I find reality TV my heroin and Bravo is my dealer. My other fix is Rock of Love, nothing like white trash with amazing pole dancing skills and a washout rock star to make me feel special and hugged by Jesus.
My choices for professions as a kid were: butcher( I loved the smell of blood), fashion designer, forensic doctor, OB/GYN, and chef
My tween years were marked by: Menuditis, brownie production with Girls Just Wanna Have Fun previews at Mitin’s house, and window shopping at Camp Beverly Hills and Trafico @ Plaza Las Americas
I was born on July 1st, 1977, which means my birthday is the biggest holiday in Canada. I share my birthday with Pamela Anderson and Princess Diana (RIP). Can you see the similarities? Because I can
My first soft drink memory: Materva, a golden brown soda. It smells much like a champagne cola. Having a Cuban great uncle as a neighbor has its benefits.( that is were my love for Cubans started)
I live by Corretjer’s words: A human to be complete needs to plant a tree (I take very good care of my cow tongue’s plant), have a child (Carmela in the meantime) and write a book (does blogging count?)
I rather talk about sex than bowel movements, which is something puertorricans do while eating.
Geo, Jennifer and the whole office staff say I talk to loud. I swear I’m talking in a nice soothing range.
I can portray myself as loud with a strong character. In reality I suffer from delayed reaction which sucks at the time to engage in an intense discussion/opinion differences/fights. I’m a closeted softie and normally will freeze if somebody verbally attacks me ( it happened once and recently and was very affected by it)
I can’t believe the amount of selfish love I get from my 15 lbs daschund and I swear that she will talk any day now. I gravitate towards my two year old niece, Mia Sofia and will change my day’s routine to be near her and watch her laugh.
I’m proud to wear my heart on my sleeve and will try that everyday that passes by I will tell my love ones how much I love them. Everyday I thank God for the good, the bad and the ugly. I learn from my drama to appreciate my blessings.
Someone said that the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself, so with that in mind I decided that I'm going to be my own Valentine's.So here we go:
Carla: Thank you for the years we had together, in the good and in the bad we have risen above and will continue to do so in the future. I love and respect you xoxo ~Carla PS- we have a great relationship I just finished a chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream cone from Ben and Jerry's
We are in February, supposedly celebrating love, but that also means we are approaching March, better known as Earth Month. Environmentalists are saying that dating locally is the new green (So sorry for Jenn and Rafa but they are shacking up soon, so they are ok). And yes, we know the CO2 emissions from airplanes increase the green house effect and all that, but the new reasons to approach "date local" involves the consuming local farmers produce ( dating long distance creates a disbalance in the demand) and lowers fuel consumption due to those staying at home talking through web cams. Being environmentally conscious is still a social virtue, and to me nothing beats kissing anytime I want under the Guaynabo stars ( which is like... two)
Tomorrow my friends Cynthia and Dorlis are taking a leap to their future. You see, tomorrow at 10:00 pm Dorlis will start his life as an Army guy ( sorry for my lack of military terminology) with hopes on becoming a communications specialist. Cynthia, who is one of the most sweetest friends I have known ,will be put test as well as she waits on her beloved new husband( they got married last week).After having a very rough year in 2008, both Cynthia and Dorlis are taking steps for a better future. I know this is going to be hard for both, but at the end they will rise to the occasion and become stronger as individuals and as a couple. This too shall pass as the Jewish say. I know your future holds more surfing, good times and beach babies... All my love to both, ~C
Recently, I decided to try and tell a past love what I felt while we were dating. I felt that after all this time; he was comfortable to accept that this wasn’t a booty call or friends with benefits situation for me. To me it was a strange love because of the way I acted and the stupidity of the relationship. I walked on egg shells for 4 years (yep, time passes by quickly) which is the only thing I regret. He was taken aback for my sudden confession (and estranged by my emotions, which makes him more of a Neanderthal), but I owned my past feelings. I felt it necessary to say those things after 3 years (or 4?), in order to move on and be ready for the thing that I’m waiting.
I forgave him for not giving the true chance I deserve (he doesn’t know how good my cooking is and strangers know my cooking). And I forgave myself for being stupid and dancing a game around him. He’s happy now with another person; as for me I have been having a blast being single and super sizing my group of friends, experiences and travels. I have become closer to my girlfriends, being there for them in their tough times, I have a warm bed every night thanks to Carmela, I have enjoyed every step of Mia as she grows to be an exceptional girl, and I have learned to live alone among other things. He never gave me the chance to really be honest,(he got upset when I confessed) and I understood that he will never be man enough to know my heart.
I have learned my lessons and have move on… I’m thankful that we are on friendly terms (like we have always been) and that know I know the type of relationship… I DON’T want.
