"New Jersey, would you stop embarrassing me?! I know you're New York's chunkier, uglier, sluttier sister but pull yourself together, girl." — Chelsea Handler
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joke. Show all posts
Friday, March 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Just because I need a visual break
That's the marvelous Coco, Ice T's wifey. Nice workout shoes, huh?
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Joke of the day
Did you ever wonder about the origin of the word "dickhead" ?
PS- Sorry Mom, I have a dark sense of humor courtesy of your ex husband (aka Dad)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Joke of the day
Chris Rock on hair relaxers:"I couldn't believe how strong these relaxer chemicals were. And I've actually had them in my hair – I remember the burning. It would be against the Geneva conventions if they used this stuff at Guantanamo."
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Joke of the day
People this is for reals!!!!!!!
A 42-year-old Russian woman has made it into the Guinness Book of Records for having the world's strongest vagina. Tatiata Kozhevnikova reportedly lifted over 30 pounds with her vaginal muscles in order to receive the title
Some people have nothing to do
A 42-year-old Russian woman has made it into the Guinness Book of Records for having the world's strongest vagina. Tatiata Kozhevnikova reportedly lifted over 30 pounds with her vaginal muscles in order to receive the title
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday humor
This popped into my rss feader
Disturbing: a man takes his 14-year-old son to a prostitute to have his first sexual experience. Amusing: the son picks out a prostitute...who also happens to be a cop. Mom is gonna be pissed
Disturbing: a man takes his 14-year-old son to a prostitute to have his first sexual experience. Amusing: the son picks out a prostitute...who also happens to be a cop. Mom is gonna be pissed
Friday, May 8, 2009
Funny or what?
After last week's H1N1virus histeria, this is how I was greeted when I got to the office after working in Phoenix. Hilarious.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
This totally explains my obsession with Russell Brand
The Daily Mail reports that men with a sense of humor are more likely to be seen as intelligent, more honest, and better material for a relationship or friendship. In order to arrive at this conclusion, Psychologist Kristofor McCarty asked 45 women the personalities behind a series of personal ads, some of which were funny and some of which were simply factual. Although the descriptions contained no information about the man's IQ, women were more likely to rate the humorous ad-writers as smart and trustworthy.
McCarty presented his research at the British Psychological Society's annual conference. McCarty said that there is a "kind of halo effect. The funny guys appear to be getting everything," which they use to their advantage. "For a man that doesn't look like Brad Pitt, it gives them a bit of hope," he said.
McCarty presented his research at the British Psychological Society's annual conference. McCarty said that there is a "kind of halo effect. The funny guys appear to be getting everything," which they use to their advantage. "For a man that doesn't look like Brad Pitt, it gives them a bit of hope," he said.
Joke of the day 2
"We know the recession has made everyone want to retreat into the comfort of soft, warm blankets, but honestly, this is too much. What if it poops in there? The horror!!!!!!!"
Tip by: Monica ( keep them coming!)
Joke of the day-yet so true!
"The best cure for a hangover is something one straight man can't do for another straight man." — Ben Affleck, in Esquire.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Irony of the day
A man wearing a t-shirt that read "I ♥ My Marriage" was arrested Monday night and charged with "felony domestic battery by strangulation."During a dispute with his much-hearted wifey, 32-year-old Bradley Gellert wrung her around the throat and started choking her!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Joke of the day!
A teacher was doing a study (taste)of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers. The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red... .......................Cherry
Yellow....................Lemon
Green.....................Lime
Orange..................Orange
Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them;none of the children could identify the taste.
'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'
One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled,
'Oh my God!! They're ass-holes!'
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Joke of the Day
On that new show Confessions Of A Teen Idol, Eric Nies of The Real World and The Grind says he was almost going to be Batman instead of Val Kilmer.
Somebody has been 'shrooming....
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
On international news ( somehow I see the humor in this)
Chinese mistress contest takes tragic turn
A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.
The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on December 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.
At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name — Fan — was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.
The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said.When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.
The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.
It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.
Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death.The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs.
A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.
The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on December 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.
At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name — Fan — was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.
The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said.When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.
The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.
It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.
Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death.The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Joke of the day
After the above was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note from her Mommy :
Dear Ms. Davis,I want to be very clear on my child's illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint. I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm. This picture is of me selling a shovel.
Mrs. Harrington
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Because I can laugh @ myself
Last night, something similar to the picture happened. A long time friend touched my back and felt it. Yep, I had a bit of booty paper over my jeans!!!! Since my shirt was long nobody noticed, but it was funny. But after considering that this may be embarrassing, it just simply says.... I WIPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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